No Love Poems For You

I used to take Valentine’s Day very seriously.  In the single sense, I was so sad I could wear a panda suit and you still wouldn’t touch me.  In the with someone sense, I did the usual wine & dine romance stuff, kicked a poem or three until I met my wife because of our major celebration calendar below.

February 5 – her birthday

March 5 – our getting together anniversary

October 11 – our wedding anniversary

At first, it was economic reasons why I stopped (X-mas + her birthday five weeks later + Valentine’s Day = Ramen) but then I realized Valentine’s Day doesn’t hold personal meaning with the missus; we didn’t get together that day.  My wife initially hated that I stopped getting into Valentine’s Day but she’s begrudgingly accepted why I’m not into it.  If I treated our anniversaries the way I treat Valentine’s Day, the missus would remove some of my organs while I’m awake and I would deserve it.

However for you lovers out there, I end this with a poem I wrote last year when I wrote a poem every day the week of Valentine’s Day except on Valentine’s Day; I hope I can get it into a Hallmark card.

Candy & Puppies

When you hold me
like a windowless van,
I wonder if sex offenders,
creepy uncles, artificial limbs
analyze the architecture
of your hugs.
P.S.: I think my poem, “Archeology“, would be a great poem to adapt into a video game, especially on the Wii.
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3 thoughts on “No Love Poems For You

  1. We have our anniversary in two days. No need for the frilly candy hearts. Waste of money, worry, and time.

  2. [...] I broke Laura’s Valentine’s Day curse thanks to a lot of planning and a little luck. Last year and the years before that, I didn’t take it very seriously. I wanted to give Laura the Valentine’s Day she always wanted. I also knew what it was like to [...]

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