Failure Loves Company

I need someone to design the tattoo that should cover this:

Her first initial on my right wrist. I am not the arrogant type that can go to a woman: "that's my first initial so you can always remember it as I'm fingerbanging you."

What I want is an x-rayed apple with a white gold bullet in the core.  If you can come up with something better and meaningful, go for it.  If you like my idea, show me what it should look like.  The winning design gets

-a custom poem framed and autographed

-a back catalog of my early work, autographed

-an original copy of my first CD STR8 OUTTA LANDO

Send all designs to senryujournalist at g mail dot com.  You have until the end of August to submit.  Winner will be announced as soon as I pick one, if any of you submit.

Whir appeared originally in Metazen here.  Enjoy.

Pythagorean originally appeared in the March issue of The Legendary, which you can read the text here.  Enjoy.

In July, Matt DeBenedictis, Ben Spivey, and I will combine our literary might and put on a reading of epic proportions in Atlanta.  The date and location will be announced soon.  Just know that if you are in Atlanta, we aim to change or ruin your lives with our words.

In PANK, Ampersand Books reviews all but Adam Gallari’s book. Check it out here – http://www.pankmagazine.com/pankblog/?p=3845

Small Press Distribution puts out a monthly list to show the bestsellers in Poetry and Fiction and there’s something missing: Dodging Traffic.  This is where you come in.

If you’ve enjoyed my work whether online or in print, whether it was fiction, flash fiction, or poetry, then you should get a copy of Dodging Traffic.  E-mail a copy of your order from SPD to senryujournalist@gmail.com with your mailing address and I will mail you something special as a thank-you.  It could be a CD.  It could be a chapbook.  It could be a custom poem just for you.  Believe me, I’ll appreciate the support.

P.S.: After getting some Dodging Traffic, you should also check out other fine Ampersand Books, including Under What Stars, Do Something! Do Something! Do Something!, When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother.

Last night, I did my performance and book launch in St. Pete at The Studio @ 620 and I had a fantastic time.  First, Tod Caviness kicked two of his poems and a Matthew John Connolly cover, “The Tenuous Nature of Reality”.    Then came my set, which consisted of:

1. Would You Like To Take A Survey?

2. Reciprocation

3. Valedictorian

4. The Kama Sutra of Glenn Beck

5. You + Me = Awwwww Yeah

6. Check Yes

7. Stellar

8. Taking Civil Liberties

9. Doing It Norse Style

10. Do What You Want Me To Do

11. Contest

12. Pre-nuptual Agreement

13. These Are Vows

14. What Makes A Man A Man

15. Another Poem About China

16. Tailor Made

17. 25 Random Things…

18. A Letter From the Department of Health

The show was awesome from the venue to the organizers to the audience to my opener, Tod Caviness.  Everything was amazing and I want to get back to St. Pete for more shows.  Thanks to The Studio @ 620 and my publisher Jason Cook for putting all of this together.  Below are some photos:

This is where I wonder if something/someone will smite me.

This is what part of The Studio @ 620 looks like.

This is Jason Cook, publisher of Ampersand Books and The Ampersand Review. He is awesome and can beat you up - or at least out drink you.

This is me coming on stage for my set.

Would You Like To Take A Survey?

Unleashing a poem from Dodging Traffic

Tod Caviness kicking back some brews at FUBAR with the rest of The Ampersand crew.

Also: Jason Jordan was nice enough to shout out Dodging Traffic; why haven’t you gotten your copy yet?

Finally, five of my poems are in PANK Magazine.  Read them and then read the rest of the issue (this is the first one I copyedited/proofread).  I guarantee you this issue is packed with awesomeness.

Tonight’s the big night.  9ish at Stardust Video & Coffee (1842 Winter Park Rd) will be the big release party for Dodging Traffic.  I will have copies on hand to sell and sign (and a laptop available for those who don’t have cash on hand – my publisher will set something up so we can take credit cards at the show through the site).  I may have some poets who attend kick a poem for me.  I will also perform a 30-45 minute set of poems from the book.  Can’t wait to see all of you there.

1. Those who say that the winner is poetry probably lost their bout; I know this from experience. That’s why humans invented flasks full of Jameson, to coddle them and inflict necessary brain damage in times of loss.

2. Just because you lost your bout doesn’t mean your poetry sucks. Take comfort in knowing your judges did not have taste, even if they had taste.

3. The liver is an amazing organ and can take an abundance of punishment, much like your sister for a negotiable fee. It is important to pace yourselves, drink water or Gatorade between rounds, lest you need a transplant after NPS (let me assure you poets are below the elderly on transplant lists).

4. There’s nothing worse as being ground zero for a new sexually transmitted pandemic. Poets please always remember: no glove, no love. The last thing we want is an STI named after Shappy.

5. Mooching will not be tolerated; thanks to this economy we are all broke and poor so if you need food or drink, barter for it. Your foreskin is not acceptable nor is your slam poem; we want something of true value.

6. When participating in a cipher or poetry tag (because they break out like jock itch or herpes), do not tag in your friends; tag in a stranger. Also, no slam poems in poetry tag. We will have our bellies full of poems in the slam genre this week and we will wish our stomachs kicked because of this. Let’s hear something interesting.

7. Failure is an invaluable learning tool.

8. Have fun in Florida; you’ll find we not only can count but do so very well.

P.S.: telling the truth at a poetry slam is like finding a unicorn: fun until you get gored by the facts.

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