This Is A Contest
I need someone to design the tattoo that should cover this:
Her first initial on my right wrist. I am not the arrogant type that can go to a woman: "that's my first initial so you can always remember it as I'm fingerbanging you."
What I want is an x-rayed apple with a white gold bullet in the core. If you can come up with something better and meaningful, go for it. If you like my idea, show me what it should look like. The winning design gets
-a custom poem framed and autographed
-a back catalog of my early work, autographed
-an original copy of my first CD STR8 OUTTA LANDO
Send all designs to senryujournalist at g mail dot com. You have until the end of August to submit. Winner will be announced as soon as I pick one, if any of you submit.
Pulse Check
Since the divorce and up until twenty minutes ago, I wrote nothing but fiction. Some of it will come out later this year.
The hours at work grow longer. I feel beat, like Tina Turner. I will be in Indianapolis for three weeks starting August 16 on business, not getting bizay. This is a good time for hotel living.
Safety Third Enterprises is gearing up for the launch of The Serial Rapist Sitting Behind You Is A Robot. PANK, being the rolldogs they are, shouted it out here.
Next week is the National Poetry Slam in St. Paul. I will only miss it a little. It will not miss me at all.
My love life: none. Writing is my new wife and she still doesn’t do the dishes, me.
Salting The Ashes
I did my first feature set as a single man on Thursday for the Poetry in Motion fundraiser and it was a blistering one.
1. Primer
2. Knife Show
3. Hunt & Gather
4. Muse
5. The Ghost Staring At You Is Your Ex-Wife’s New Girlfriend
6. Quadriplegic
Bar audiences aren’t normally good in non-poetry settings and they were the exception. We had lots of fun and a happily married couple bought me a delicious drink without slipping something in it to take me home and have their way with me. I’m getting scoring-free-drinks performing good. Yes!
I know I need to memorize some more stuff but I’m writing a lot, nothing but fiction since the divorce was finalized. I’m working my way up to writing longer and longer fiction. Things will get interesting.
I’m locking down 1565 over at For Every Year, which you should check out here.
Dance Motherfucker, Dance
Have a show later here. By showing up, you are legally required to buy me a drink.
Join Emotions Dance for a classy night out with live music, spoken word, a silent auction and much more. Prizes will be awarded for the best masquerade outfit. Drink specials throughout the night.
Admission is only $5
Music by: The Forefathers and Damien Simon
Spoken Word: Tod Caviness, Curtis Meyer, J. Bradley and Shannon Kortbek.
18 and over welcome
Thursday July 22, 9pm.
The Peacock Room
1321 N. Mills Ave
Orlando, FL 32714
I’m A Free Bitch, Baby
(Editor’s note: Quoting Lady Gaga seems appropriate today.)
Today was the final hearing of my divorce. I woke up early, got court gussied, and went to the court to end the three months of limbo I’ve been in. I got their early like I was supposed to. My ex-wife did not and I was worried. The door opened and the deputy asked for licenses and paperwork. She wasn’t there. We got corralled into the courtroom, a total of nine couples, singles, she wasn’t there. The deputy did the run down of the proceedings. She still wasn’t there. I raised my hand at question time and asked what would happen if my wife was late and the deputy said as long as I was there, it didn’t matter if she was late or not. The divorce was going to go through.
You have no idea how that infected me with a grin that you could not peel off of me.
She showed up, we got sworn in, there was a mild paperwork mix up with the other hearings, and five minutes after the hearing started, boom, we were divorced. A few minutes later, we went and got a copy of our final judgement.
This is what freedom looks like on paper.
Fun fact: I did not have cash on me to buy the certified copy. When my ex-wife pulled out a five to get the copy, my immediate thought was “Wow, for once you paid for something without me asking”.
And that’s that.
What have I done to celebrate? Raid the library for CDs, had lunch at one of my favorite Japanese restaruants with a friend, bought this to have a toast.
This is what people drink while doing victory laps drink, son.
Atlanta was a blast by the way. Ben Spivey and Matt DeBenedictis aren’t just talented writers, they are awesome human beings to hang out with. They make me want to be in Atlanta a little more and I want to do more shows out there. This was my set by the way.
1. Primer
2. Knife Show
3. Reciprocation (Dodging Traffic)
4. Quadriplegic
5. The Ghost Standing In Front Of You Is Your Ex-Wife’s New Girlfriend
6. Muse
7. The Bride of Dracula’s Gynecologist on Career Day (Dodging Traffic)
L to R: Ben Spivey, Matt DeBenedictis, J. Bradley - this is how nerd thugs pose after fucking a roomful of people up with words. (Photo: Rachel Kalyna)
During the post-reading dinner, I asked the room how I can cover up this tattoo.
Her first initial on my right wrist. I am not the arrogant type that can go to a woman: "that's my first initial so you can always remember it as I'm fingerbanging you."
Matt’s partner Jennifer suggested an apple to cover it up (from Primer). I suggested having a bullet on my left wrist pointing at it to go with it. I also have an idea with an x-rayed apple and in the middle you can see the bullet lodged in the core. If any of you readers out there want to sketch and send, I’d love you more for it. The best design will get something special from me, and no, it won’t be my penis.
Safety Third Enterprises has an online home. Stalk this site religiously because The Serial Rapist Sitting Behind You Is A Robot is coming out soon and there will only be a limited amount of copies released. Don’t miss out on pre-ordering because you didn’t have the fortitude to stay by your computer and miss work and endure a catheter and jar toiletry.
Finally, there is a 99% chance I will be living in Indianapolis for five weeks for work purposes. The awesome thing is that this divorce lets me do this, though my cat will miss me. I’ll also sometimes weekend in Chicago and see friends. Dating will be a challenge for I am unsure how Indianapolis will handle me or if I can handle Indianapolis.
Off to write something so I can drink.
Ooh, Shiny
My poem, “The Ghost Staring At You Is Your Ex-Wife’s New Girlfriend” is in the first issue of Bestiary Magazine (which you can preview here). It is one of the most beautiful looking magazines I’ve ever seen. It gives my eyes boners. It makes my eyes want to buy it a drink and hit on it only for it to reject my eyes because it is that fucking beautiful and my eyes are a lowly hobbit or a level two cleric with a +2 to look pensive.
T-minus four days until this. If you aren’t dead, you better be in jail. And if you’re in jail, you better break out.
I’ve come 500 miles to give you my seed
I talk about my chances of having children and my back up plan here.
I mean, come on, would you want to have kids with a guy with a face like this? I would be happy if we just practiced. A lot.
This is not my 'O' face.
The Decision
The other evening, I was talking to Bernard “The Klute” Schober, one of the finest political satirists active in the national poetry slam scene today, and he mentioned that I shouldn’t let anything tie me down in Orlando at this stage in my life if given the opportunity to leave and that got me thinking: where would I go if I wanted to leave and what would I do?
I’ve hemmed and hawed about getting my MFA and I see the merits of having one (advanced degree, more craft tools, a title unassociated with dabblings in BDSM) and the downsides (debt, long-term career choices, debt). If I were to get one, it would be in a low res program so I can continue working (because I like my job for the most part and it gives me a nice middle class lifestyle) unless a full res program wants to move me and take care of me to attend their program, which will probably not happen because I suck at SAT style standardized testing.
I have considered moving, also. I would need things like a job and a place to live in said city before I go because I roll pragmatically. These are the cities I would move to in order of preference.
1. Atlanta
2. Austin
3. Seattle
You’re thinking “Why Atlanta over the other two cities” or “where the fuck is New York City on this list”. The truth is I like the South, the politeness, the heat. Atlanta has a lot of awesome writers in it and I really like the slam scene out there so for me, it’s a best of both worlds situation. Austin I like the slam scene but don’t know the lit scene out there. I’m not sure how Seattle would handle me but I enjoy the city when I was there in 2001 for the National Poetry Slam.
I also love my local scene. Next January marks the 10th anniversary of the Broken Speech Poetry Slam and I’m proud of that accomplishment and the impact the slam has had on the local literary scene. It really has helped the literary talent here grow to levels I don’t think would have happened had it not been for the existence of the slam. What I’m worried about is leaving and not having anyone stepping in to keep it going. Then again, I have an heir apparent or two in mind who I know would do great at keeping the machine going. Being in Orlando hasn’t held me back by any means, mind you but when living anywhere or doing something for a while, you tend to yearn for change, for something new. I will always defend the culture Orlando has no matter what I decide because our city has culture. We just need more people who give a shit longer than five seconds.
When will I make this decision? Not this year. I need to get my head straight before I embark on any major life altering adventures. How will you find out? I don’t have the budget or the popularity to do it on television so it’ll be through here, with not a lot of fanfare.
I have three poems up at the Camroc Press Review which you should check out here.
Finally – who can tell me how I can have t-shirts made cheaply but not slave labor cheap? I have some ideas for t-shirts for Dodging Traffic and The Serial Rapist Sitting Behind You Is A Robot.
Hot Man On Man Action Here
I review Dodging Traffic here. Wear a tarp. It’s gonna get saucy.
